Dear Mr. Pong,
Enclosed you will find this week’s article, Encounter with a Japanese Beetle. We haven’t reached Merritt Island yet, but I think my readers will find this episode interesting.
Bates is quite adept at kayaking. Since I had, as it were, a birds-eye view of his progress, I was able to see him maneuver the kayak down the Mantazas river. Mostly, he hugged the shore, making an occasional foray through salt marshes (avoiding alligators). He is a regular entomological foodie, and he seems to know the best spots for finding prime insects.
When night fell, I found a comfortable perch in a cypress tree where I could sleep and still be nearby.
Shortly after dusk, Bates started croaking. I don’t mean dying, but making that awful noise frogs make at night. And then there was an answering croak, and another. I was ruffling my feathers, preparing to find another lodging, when the local frogs started arriving. Something was up, so I settled deeper onto my branch and waited and watched. And listened.
Pong, you won’t believe me, but here is what I saw and heard. As soon as there were a couple of dozen frogs around, Bates began his sales pitch. (In case you are wondering, Frog is a very easy language to learn if you have a teacher. Bates gave me some lessons so I could follow him quite easily.) First, he thanked everyone for coming, greeted some old customers, told a few insect jokes, and then he started talking about his stock.
I was completely surprised when he pulled a Japanese beetle from his satchel, popped it into his mouth, and swallowed it. Since I love Japanese beetles, I thought it was rude that he didn’t offer to share, until he explained.
When he was a little froglet, he would sometimes eat too many insects too quickly, and he would get a stomachache.
Late spring was when this often happened, and his mother would always feed him a young but mature Japanese beetle. His mother would tell him that the discomfort from the beetle was sparrow’s tears. (His first experience with Japanese beetles was also his first experience with the Japanese language.)
Well, Bates didn’t like the sound of ‘discomfort’ and demanded that his mother explain why she was feeding him something that wasn’t good for him. She simply smiled and said that his concern was snake legs. That really confused him and made him worry even more, but when his momma wore that look, he knew he would just have to ride it out.
It didn’t take too long before he found out what that discomfort was. His insides felt like a goldfish was swimming around in them, and then his backside started itching, and he started twitching, and his mother started laughing, and he got hopping mad, and then, out popped (or should I say pooped!) that beetle. His mother gathered it up, washed it off, and put it back in her medicine cabinet.
She swore him to secrecy. He was not allowed to mention his experience to his two dozen brothers and sisters because she would dose each of them over the next few weeks, and she wanted each of them to have the full experience.
It seems that Japanese beetles are the perfect recyclable, medicinal insects, a perfect rotorooter for the frog’s digestive system. And when you consider that each one can be used for the whole summer, they are quite a bargain.
By the time Bates had finished his story, the whole crowd was laughing so hard they had crocodile tears streaming down their faces. You see, they thought that Bates was just telling them a funny story. And what do you think happened next? With a smile on HIS face, Bates grunted, and guess what? That beetle popped out, smelly but alive. Bates washed it off and replaced it in his satchel. The crowd grew silent and then everyone started croaking at once. They all wanted one for their family medicine chest, and they were all wondering when theirs would arrive, if they came in different sizes, how much it would cost, and so on.
I won’t bore you with the sales details, but I do want to explain what Bate’s mother meant by ‘sparrow’s tears’ and ’snake legs’.
The discomfort Bates felt because of the beetle was too small for him to worry about; they were like sparrow’s tears (he would now agree). His worry was like snake legs, unnecessary and harmful to Bate’s health.
This episode has put me off Japanese beetles. I don’t think I will be able to enjoy another one for a very long time.
Tomorrow we head south. I will send another article next week.
Chiao!
Sunflower
Meet Our Contributors
Editor-In-Chief
Marten Pong is the editor-in-chief of the Paw and Wing Chronicle. He enjoys reading, classical ballet and when at home, the occasional hunt.
Senior Reporter
Sunflower Cardy is a senior reporter with the Paw and Wing Chronicle. In her spare time, she enjoys swimming and hanging out with friends.
